When you stop talking to a family member it’s because there are reasons that, in most cases, justify our attitude, it’s not a simple thing, nor is it an impulsive decision or overnight, family detachment often responds to friction, chronic disagreements, un healed injuries and the refusal of either party to make a change , an improvement.
Experts in family dynamics say that these outings correspond to one of the most painful realities that human beings can experience, however, suffering is not always the result of the decision to put a limit, besides, this path sometimes brings relief. The real discomfort is concentrated in all past experience, the same one that motivates this decision.
- On the other hand.
- There is an undisputed fact that happens too often.
- Our society projects a very harsh judgment about who.
- At some point.
- Chooses to move away from the family.
- The label “bad son”.
- “bad son” appears almost instantly.
- Grandson.
- “bad sister.
- ” etc.
- There is not always room for doubt.
- Nor for that empathy that makes us think about what might justify this behavior.
At the same time, it is important to note that many people, although they have taken this step, continue to suffer, so they need psychological support to be able to face, manage and unravel the tangle of the past, which remains. latent The same whose brand stays alive and gains weight over the days.
“I learned that being with those we love is enough. ” Walt Whitman
We stop talking to a family member when we feel we’ve reached the limit. when discrepancies create walls, when negative emotions are present in almost all situations, circumstances, and words; however, even though this situation marks a before and after, distance has already occurred years earlier.
We stress once again that this is not an easy decision and that no one takes it lightly, today there are organizations that support people who have moved away from their families.
An example: in 2015 a study was published by the Centre for Family Research in London and the University of Cambridge, whose objective was to analyze this reality which, although it attracts our attention, is very often given in our society.
Family estification occurs, according to the data, at as wide a generational interval as between the ages of 18 and 60, some are hoping to be older to take this step, others, on the other hand, take longer to make a decision that we are not always prepared for.
Sometimes this is due to fear, sometimes indecision and most of the time to the social pressure it teaches us from a young time that the estification of family members is inappropriate. However, the number of cases continues to increase. Family psychologists like Dr. Joshua Coleman say this is a common fact, a “silent reality. “who needs more study, support and sensitivity.
When we stop talking to a family member, we experience many types of pain that are not always talked about:
On the other hand, factors such as the weight of stigma and even social isolation also influence and must be taken into account.
As we have said, s quitting to talk to a family member is not a decision that is usually made lightly, it is not a whim, it is not the reaction of a teenager or the result of a single disagreement. Is there a reality that is created slowly and can have many origins: abuse, authoritarianism, contempt, lack of continued support, invisibility, disamoration?
It is clear that each person lives his reality in a different way, there will be those who believe that none of the above realities have occurred, and others who believe that they have occurred in the day to day; However, in all cases, there is an unresolved conflict, the ideal in these cases is to face it, face it, give you the opportunity to generate changes in which each member is recognized.
Otherwise, if there is no desire and if the suffering is great, the distance is a good answer, but what is recommended in the first place is:
In conclusion, when we stop talking to a relative, sometimes the problem does not end there, in some cases there are many loose cables, many brands that cause discomfort and need to be resolved, in these situations it will always be very difficult. useful for seeking psychological therapy.