When children break the relationship with their parents, they don’t always understand reason. Of course, no one is perfect. However, there are fathers and mothers who certainly do not deserve the love of their children.
In addition, there are also children who, without any justification, choose to “page”, keep their distance and leave a painful silence in front of a bewildered and desolate family.
- It is certainly a complicated topic with different approaches.
- Although we do not yet have statistical data on the number of families in which parents and children are separated.
- It should be noted that in clinical practice this is one of the most common problems.
- Father is difficult; and be a child too.
On the other hand, there is one factor to note, in the most popular literature it is common to find the image of toxic mothers, authoritarian parents and dysfunctional families who give birth to clearly unhappy children, this is an undeniable reality. that no one can question.
However, one aspect that is not talked about much is that of children who, overnight, stop having contact with their parents. In addition, there are adult children who behave in ways that are unfavorable and debilitating to their families.
Sometimes there may be a psychological disorder behind it, of course, but that doesn’t happen 100% of the time. This is a problem faced by many parents even at a very advanced age.
“A wise father is the one who knows his son. “William Shakespeare?
To explain why children break the relationship with their parents, it should be noted that it is often influenced by the cultural and social context.
If we compare the Anglo-Saxon model with the Japanese model, for example, we will see the extent to which the cultural values of families are, so the context influences, but also the personality and internal dynamics that occur in each home.
For example, studies such as the one published in The Journals of Gerontology by Dres. Glenn Deane and Glenna Spitz show us something interesting: the reason kids break up with their parents doesn’t always respond to a single factor.
There are no conclusive factors because sometimes events such as the relationship with the child’s partner or even the relationship between siblings also influence.
However, we can start from two clear and obvious facts: the first is that the distance between parents and children is due to a complex link between the two, the second problem is related to the personality of the children or the circumstances around them. see the data below.
When we think about why children break the relationship with their parents, there is probably the weight of a past where detachment, humiliation, lack of support, criticism or authoritarianism were present, so when we talked to these adult children to understand why this distance and the need to break that bond, we find the following reasons.
There are sons and daughters who, at any time, choose to interrupt contact with their parents, that silence causes anguish and misunderstanding in parents who cannot understand this situation, however, this decision is not made overnight, often there is a long history of problems in which this opportunity or choice is not new. Let’s look at the reasons below:
The reasons why children break the relationship with their parents are, as we have seen, very varied, each reality is unique and each family has its own characteristics, there will certainly be cases where distance is cautious and even necessary for some people (especially if the coexistence is traumatic and there is a history of abuse).
However, what we recommend in all cases is communication, if a child needs to establish a distance from the original family nucleus, he must indicate the reasons that led him to this decision, something like this forces us to look for solutions, to make agreements. for both parties, in these cases it is always advisable to seek the help of specialized professionals.
On the other hand, one thing that is also recommended to parents with problematic children is patience, most of the time children return to get back in touch, they are very difficult realities that you have to know. individually, closely and globally.