Many couples looking for a first couple therapy consultation do so because they are not happy or satisfied with the relationship, however, not all couples really know if they have problems in the relationship or if they are going through a bad time, while all that remains is wait for the storm to pass.
Most couples seeking professional help are cases where there is a major problem, but at the same time, they are people who, together, also work in different aspects, that is, are couples who have problems in certain areas of life, but who keep other areas intact, so confusion arises and doubts about whether or not they have relationship problems.
- Therefore.
- In this article we will explain the 5 diagnostic areas that are used in the first couples therapy consultation to identify existing relational problems and in which areas are.
- In addition.
- This area-by-area relationship analysis scheme will also let you know what works correctly in your relationship.
This area is to see your partner as a friend. This means that you must be part of the people with whom you share feelings, daily experiences, concerns and desires. Friendship is necessary for a couple to function well. In fact, many satisfied couples emphasize friendship as the “cement” that holds the relationship together.
In addition, friendship in the relationship may exist before the couple is a couple, but it can also develop with the affective relationship. In addition, in the field of friendship in the relationship, we have time and activities, preferences, leisure and online values. You can’t lose all these ingredients for the relationship to work.
“The first love is a little crazy and a great curiosity” – George Bernard Shaw-
One of the first assessments made in couples therapy is the basis of the friendship that exists, because this area is deeply linked to trust, it is important to remember that trust is not a feeling that is limited to relationships, on the contrary, it exists in the relationship because there is friendship between the couple.
If the relationship of friendship between the couple is not good, there will be relationship problems rooted in lack of trust, which lead for example to a sense of estatingness and ignorance (?Is my partner a stranger?).
So when it’s –it doesn’t exist in a relationship, it’s very likely that the relationship will have problems. Because? Because the greater the feeling of friendship, the easier it is to understand, the more assertiveness and complicity.
In this case, there may be relationship problems for sharing friendships, moments in company, but not intimacy, intimacy is understood in the life of a couple the quality time that the couple spends alone, during which they share verbal expressions of affection and affection. Intimacy also includes moments of total sincerity and authentic demonstrations of ideas, emotions and desires.
Having moments of loneliness as a couple is very important, but at the same time it can be very difficult if you are in a relationship with children or family responsibilities, for these reasons, children and relationships with other family members (parents, siblings, children of other relationships, etc. ) can make one of the members of the couple feel that they are losing their privacy and that problems arise.
In this sense, if one of the members of the couple is not satisfied with the level of intimacy, problems will arise in the relationship, since the person may feel displaced and un important to the other, all this ends up generating a negative attitude in the day to day. (irritation, low valuation) and promotion of negative feelings.
The feeling that the couple works as a team is fundamental to a positive relationship and a future, when one side feels that the other is not making any effort to live together, relationship problems begin, in this area is valued when the couple fights, shares daily tasks equally, shares family responsibilities and supports each other.
In couples where there is inequality in the sense that one has to pull the other, or drag the other, the possibilities of relationship problems appear, because the feeling that one mobilizes the other, or that one needs to push the other, is a burden or burden that will cause stress and dissatisfaction.
Therefore, in order to diagnose whether there are problems in this area, it is essential to assess (among other aspects) the division of tasks at home, the efforts that the couple makes among them, the initiative that each party demonstrates, the proposals that are made to spend the free time and the support that each offers (the objective and the perceived).
“Love does not claim possessions, but gives freedom” – Rabindranath Tagore-
Passion and sexuality cannot be lacking in couples’ lives because without these factors you have a good friendship and a lot of affection, but not (or more difficult) a good relationship. However, it is clear that the importance given to passion and sexuality is not always the same, but these two components must be present. Otherwise, the chances of problems will increase.
In other words, passion and sexuality tend to diminish as the couple “celebrates their birthday. “It is a natural aspect of the evolution of the couple and is often an adaptation to the appearance of the first physical limitations. However, whenever this is the case in the interest of keeping the flame alive, it is possible to live sexuality fully and satisfactorily, even beyond those limits.
The commitment to the couple, psychologically speaking, goes far beyond a verbal or formal commitment to fidelity and respect, in couple therapies, when we talk about engagement, we mean the involvement of both parties in the future of the relationship and in shared projects. .
Thus, when we encounter couples who separate each time they have a problem or a discussion, or who are considering the breakup as a problem-solving strategy, we are faced with a couple with a zero or very low level of commitment.
The low level of engagement between the couple shows that there are problems in this area and that this is a sensitive issue, as long-term relationships generally require a strong commitment to evolve and overcome difficulties.
Finally, one of the advantages of this diagnostic system is that it already shows us where we should look, that is, at the same time that we make a diagnosis of the areas where there are problems, points are identified in So if you are going through a bad time in your relationship, try to explore these 5 areas.