To love is to endure, to love is to endure, to love sometimes involves suffering, to love is to give without measure ?, all this is what children have told us about what love is, with a series of pressures that sometimes lead us to find ourselves in a desperate search for a couple not to be alone. In all this there is something we have not been told, perhaps because no one believes it: loving without pain is possible. More than that, it’s true love.
Sometimes this rush to have a partner means that we do not consciously choose, in fact, it can even lead us not to choose: our partner will be the first person we find on the street and accept this role. low self-esteem and we don’t value each other, this disastrous attitude will be even more likely. Having a partner isn’t everything, it’s not synonymous with happiness. Sometimes it becomes a real suffering that is very difficult to bear.
“When you want the other to make him happy, it’s clear he’ll be anything but happy.
I don’t know if you’ve ever asked yourself that question, maybe it is, but you’re wrong if you think you’re unlucky, that only the worst people come near you, or that no one will ever love you. You’re always on the same profile as a person is that you choose them or at least allow it from the beginning. Have you ever turned down someone you loved very much?
Maybe you have a very low self-esteem, maybe you’re satisfied with the first person who pays attention to you, anyway you can interpret the fact that you were hurt differently, thinking about how you hurt yourself. Give you the courage you deserve, why do you close your eyes when someone tells you how much they love you and say beautiful words to you?
We should review this legend and write it this way: “Why do they always hurt me?Why do I always let others hurt me?
Of course, you have experience with these forgotten words that are not consistent with the actions that follow, words that deceive you, that make you forget reality and immerse yourself in a dream where it is the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life, the one that will make you very happy, you will give everything for it, you will fight hard for the relationship , but who said that love is a constant struggle?
“If you start a relationship by giving 50% and accept that the other person gives 20%, then over time, don’t demand that you give more because you won’t be able to do it.
Giving everything for a relationship, while the other person gives, if necessary, 25%, will make you doubt over time how he feels about you, you will run out, you will stop thinking about yourself, you will no longer take care of yourself. , and you will no longer wear the outfit you love, unless you stay with that person. Will you always be focused on that, on pleasing him, on satisfying him?Have you ever wondered why they always end up hurting you?
Painless love is possible if you stop understanding this relationship as logical or necessary, if you stop thinking that love is and that it comes down to pain, effort, struggle, endurance, giving everything for the other person?Because to love without pain, you must first know what you want, but above all learn to be happy without anyone but you.
If you’re alone, you’re ready to be with someone else, because you know that, whether it works or not, you’ll be fine and you’ll still be happy, because you were already happy before that person came into your life.
Once you know what you want, know your values, the limits you don’t want anyone to cross, then it’s time to consciously choose. Ask yourself if this person who says beautiful words to you is really the one you want to have by your side. Let yourself be carried away by the excitement and the initial madness, but make no mistake. Don’t be filled with expectations and hopes for an unrealistic future. Don’t think, well, that will change over time. Choose a person on your own, not because of how you imagine them in the future.
At first, surely you will realize that you are very demanding, many people will tell you that if you go down that path you will not find anyone with whom you can be, but by now you know very well that it is not like that. I don’t want to say anything, because having someone is not a prerequisite for being well.
The best relationship you can establish with someone is the one in which you contribute 50% and the other 50%. Only in this way can you have common goals, not out of necessity, but out of respect and freedom.
Do we confuse love with possession, with suffering, with giving everything?This beautiful feeling has become murky and sometimes represents a real torment. We go into relationships giving 100%, while the other person gives less than half, and then we pretend it is. We tie him so much that when he walks away in search of breathing air, we get nervous and alert to the idea of letting go.
Painless love is possible when we learn to treat our partner as an independent person of us, a person who has entered our lives but who can leave or walk away from us. How can you make a friend or a brother?Our life, our happiness, does not depend on whether someone is on our side or not, because the only person we can count on until the end of our day is one: ourselves.