We all know someone close to us (or is that person) who remains single despite all the attributes of a “good match”: physically beautiful, professionally prosperous, with good finances, etc. Many people ask this person why they don’t establish a meaningful relationship, even when potential candidates who have come forward are rejected.
Despite all the explanations that this person can give us, or that we should give ourselves, the most psychologically successful response could be the old “fear of love. ” There are at least five reasons why people avoid getting into a relationship:
- This is the first and most common of the reasons.
- If we fall in love.
- We run the risk of being injured; Our defenses collapse to allow the other to know us.
- And so we are exposed to suffering.
- Moreover.
- All the negative judgments we have about ourselves are beginning to emerge.
- If.
- As children.
- We do not receive enough love or hear references to the disappointment of our parents.
- We will incorporate all of this into the reasons why we may be injured.
Although we continually hear that we should love those who love us in the same way, experience teaches us that love is not necessarily fair; however, by taking the risk of entering into a relationship with someone, even when we feel that we do not want. With the same intensity that we are desired (or vice versa), we open ourselves the opportunity to develop a deeper feeling. We must not forget that the first impulse of love is passion, a short period that ends easily. The love that feeds and grows guarantees a mature and lasting relationship.
Consciously or unconsciously, we know that having a partner can mean a greater step toward maturity, and sometimes it hurts. Even if we do not have to turn away from our loved ones or stop caring for and caring for them, the relationship requires our attention and time, which we no longer devote to the people of our childhood. To mature and be independent, we must acquire responsibilities with ourselves and with others. We become freer, but also more vulnerable.
When you love the true value of things, health, society and everyday life seem invaluable gifts, with this we realize that everything can be taken away in an instant, as well as life, curiously loving someone makes us more sensitive, and that sensitivity can?several areas. For example, love and deep relationships tend to make us aware of the existence of death, both ours and others.
It is very easy to get used to the loneliness and convenience of continuing our routine attitudes, even when they do not allow us to be happy, we know that to have a better life, we often have to change our habits and our Thinking, but inertia and fear of the unknown often make us prefer to stay where we are, to live the experience of love forces us to realize how happy we can be if we venture to leave our role and change our behavior. , in itself, can be frightening for many.
To be honest, almost all relationships present us with a multitude of challenges, so if our intention is to build a satisfactory long-term connection, it becomes essential that we know our own fears and how they influence our behavior. Sometimes we try to hide these fears with various justifications to explain why a relationship may not work, that is, we self-sabotage by creating factors that will inevitably limit the success of the relationship. we will give ourselves the opportunity to find and maintain the lasting love we long for.
Image courtesy of Ollyy