There are no exact figures yet, but there are studies that can serve to outline the new reality: there are more singles than ever before, at least in Western societies. Based on independent surveys, 1 in 4 adults over the age of 50 are reportedly never married. There are places where the numbers are even more radical. In New York, for example, one in two adults lives alone.
Why did this happen? It’s not easy to know. The phenomenon is so unpublished that there are still no conclusions that can be considered definitive, on the contrary, different hypotheses are raised to explain this fact, there are also many daily reports of people talking about permanent union or marriage as undesirable, such as a burden they do not want to carry.
- “I don’t want anyone to tell me that everything will always be fine.
- I’d rather have someone look me in the eye and say.
- “Everything’s wrong.
- But am I going to stay here?”– Yoha Navarrete-.
At the same time, emotional and sentimental discomfort develops in the world, as well as cases of depression and disorders of various kinds. For non-biological approaches, i. e. those who do not hold genes accountable for everything, what happens in the world is up close. associated with fragile or dysfunctional emotional ties. Perhaps the fact that there are more singles than ever is another part of the same logic.
There are many singles who live well and happy, are cases where celibacy does not involve loneliness, or those in which loneliness does not involve isolation, they are usually people who have deliberately chosen not to form a partner, it is also common that they have other interests that occupy their lives.
The decision to remain single is almost always motivated by the desire to focus all energy on one or more projects, such as work for example, these people have jobs that they love and do not want to go through the dilemma of spending less time in their life . professional careers to adequately meet the expectations of a family. However, they generally have a partner and a good network of friends and family.
The loners, on the other hand, do not know very well why they do not have a stable partner with whom to live, a common answer is that they did not find the right person, however, they do not feel totally comfortable living alone. He usually lives in a constant routine. Feelings of apathy or sadness are common.
There are also other types of solitaires. They are the people who jump from one relationship to another, without spending much time in any, live in the ‘here and now’, in a kind of eternal adolescence in which there is no future.
Sociologists have several hypotheses to explain this important presence of singles, some point to the existence of an environment that promotes egocentrism like never before, the individual has become the center of everything. The central concern of many people is with themselves, in this scheme there is no place for anyone else, so paying attention to the feelings and needs of others is something that they are not interested in.
In addition, the idea was raised that we are going through the so-called “choice paradox”. It consists of the following: before, the potential number of people we could find was limited. The Internet has allowed this potential link to be virtually equal, the potential number of partners is infinite, which then happens is that the excessive number of options paralyzes decision-making capacity.
Similarly, when a person decides something, they always feel they have lost. And it feels that way because you’ll always have other options to compare ‘your acquisition’ with. There’s a human tendency to regret what you don’t have, instead. to appreciate what you have.
It seems that many people today have forgotten that a couple is a construction, a couple does not form simply dating or having sex, conversations, chords, conflicts and experiences are what make a couple what they are.
Therefore, partnering requires effort. It also requires tolerance, generosity and patience. Also, of course, repeals. This is exactly what some singles don’t want: fighting or meeting needs other than theirs in their emotional world.
Uncontrolled loneliness is never a good option, there are studies that indicate that it even causes physical pain, in this case it would be necessary to wonder if the right person was not really found or if the person did not really adapt to form a couple. with another It is definitely worth asking yourself that question.