Being defensive is a seemingly self-protective attitude, when you expect a danger or someone who can harm us.
When we assume this role, we transform and our whole body is alert and speaks for us, because body language indicates tension, rigidity and defensive attitude.
- In addition.
- Our nonverbal language changes from another situation where this attitude is not exercised.
- This language uses a more serious tone.
- A higher speed of speech.
- Facial gestures of discomfort.
- Discontent and even danger.
Certainly, even if we don’t say a word, being defensive is a way to inform the world, a way that transforms us and that others easily realize.
In addition to body and nonverbal language, we also express ourselves in a certain way when we are on the defensive, that is, our words are intended to protect us from possible attack or danger, and we may use justifications or attack or criticism directed against others. .
In many cases, the way we express ourselves is inadequate and unre respectful, because we feel hurt, uncomfortable or upset about the environment, what has happened or what we imagine will happen.
As the saying goes: “The best defense is a good attack. “So, without having many reasons, we use attack, criticism, irony, sarcasm or even offensive expressions, with the idea that it will protect us or put us in it. situation like the person we need to protect ourselves from.
So, far from protecting ourselves or feeling good, the defensive attitude puts us on guard, tense, and we feel upset, bored or even irascible.
We subconsciously think more about how we will defend ourselves against an attack, even if it has not happened, than to take advantage of the situation, enjoy it or simply learn from it, observing and knowing the person in front of us. .
But really, far from protecting us, being defensive hurts us, because every time we find ourselves immersed in this attitude, the discomfort is greater.
We don’t really protect ourselves from anything or anyone else; we are more exposed, showing each other our feelings and lack of strategies to effectively accept and address the situation.
Without a doubt, we maintain a defensive attitude because we do not feel protected, or so we do not feel strong or safe with ourselves. Therefore, we must protect ourselves, defend ourselves and, in a way, inform others.
Firstly, an effort must be made to perceive external situations as objectively as possible, that is, without attributing to them the danger that will lead us to put ourselves on the defensive.
It is more appropriate to observe the situation as a spectator before interpreting it and thus we will not feel attacked by it, because there may be other less alarming explanations for this situation and they will not need our defensive attitude, as is possible. that this is not an attack.
Without a doubt, to protect ourselves, it is necessary to work with and for our personal safety; For this, it is important to take care of our self-esteem and confidence in ourselves.
Knowing us well enough to be clear about who we are, what we want in life and how we will achieve it will be good support so that what happens around us does not affect us, because it will not be an attack, but a simple divergent or different opinion from ours.
As long as we clearly know how we are and how we will pursue our dreams, we will not need to be defensive, because we will feel safe with ourselves.