The way we relate to loneliness says a lot about us, being aware of our moods, thoughts, desires and needs, and also thinking about them, allows us to find psychological stability even in conflicting moments, this introspection will be nourished according to the time we spend. spend alone How can you stand the loneliness?
The ability to enjoy solitude as an option is a sign of emotional maturity and independence that improves self-knowledge, it is possible that we find ourselves so unbearable that the company of ourselves seems bad and that we need other people to distract us. Relationships and conflicts lead to emotional emptiness and a lack of tolerance for loneliness. We fall into dependency relationships, a symbiosis of confused bonds based on feelings that are not authentic.
“Those who hate loneliness only hate themselves. “- Anonymous-
Feeling good when you are alone is a very personal experience, every moment we spend in solitude is unique, because we are born with different sensations that change depending on the vital moment we live and how we meet psychologically.
Not all human minds are capable of understanding and integrating the pain that certain conflicts and circumstances of life bring, which often gives us despair to hear the echo of our own voice, so we surround ourselves with the maximum of any noise Exterior. To choose as a company is to flee into a dead end, because sooner or later the void is not only noticeable but can take care of us.
If we can’t stand loneliness, we actually live in masks, authenticity is left out and we end up playing by avoiding ourselves. We will do our best not to be alone, and we will hide this fear with all kinds of false justifications. We will go from relationship to relationship without even knowing what we are looking for, we will minimize our discomfort in friends and family so that they can bear some of our burden and relieve our weight at least momentarily. We’ll try to find anesthesia for anxiety, pulling in all directions. Any option will be valid to avoid loneliness and the message that accompanies it.
If loneliness causes us discomfort, discomfort, boredom, anxiety or anxiety, we must stop and think: do I feel comfortable with myself?, is there anything that worries me inside?That makes me uncomfortable, do I know how to name the emotions I feel, can I explain in words what goes through my mind and my heart?
When loneliness is uncomfortable or unpleasant, there is a message that tries to be heard, something does not work well if we constantly spend our time with different people, avoid loneliness at all costs and at all costs reflect intrapersonal conflict, if we avoid listening to the call of this responsibility, we will end up looking for a way to calm this discomfort without getting to understand what is really going on.
In the face of certain events in life, it takes a time of solitude to sort out ideas and integrate our feelings, losses and changes create great emotional imbalances that require reflection to understand and regain calm.
Spending time on intimacy is essential to be able to feel and assume our experiences. Of course, we also need others to share our experiences and concerns, but hearing our own voice is much more important. Spending time with others shouldn’t be a problem. substitute for personal reflection, but as a complement.
Reserving moments of silence with yourself will force you to focus your attention on your inner world, we are the only ones who can listen to our thoughts and deal with our emotions, no one else will enter our minds and take responsibility for managing what affects us. , is in our hands, so it is in a moment of solitude that you can enjoy calm and learn to manage discomfort.
Loneliness allows us to make the necessary effort to understand ourselves, loneliness gives us the opportunity to choose what to do, when and how, and appreciate the whole process with conscience and without distractions.
“Loneliness is the empire of conscience”. – Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer-
As for relationships the most important thing is quality, not quantity, having someone by your side can make you feel even more alone than when you didn’t have anyone by your side, the company doesn’t guarantee individual well-being.
We need the affection of others from birth, we seek human contact in an innate way, as a social species that we are, family, friends, boyfriends, colleagues and each of the social groups of which we are a part are fundamental to our individual development Interpersonal relationships influence We are able to develop our personality, social skills and the same emotional control in relation to the external environment. But as important as all this is the ability to be alone. Enjoying being with yourself is the first step to being so good to others. .
In addition, the fact that we are living in a period in which we are available all the time paradoxically leads to a disconnection and deterioration of the real links, we spend more time communicating through screens than looking at each other. a lot of people and different possibilities of relationship, but these end up being ephemeral and do not meet the deepest emotional needs of the human being, so we feel uncomfortable when we are alone and dissatisfied with the new relationships we have created.
“Independence arises from being self-sufficient. ” – Francisco Grandmontagne-
Enjoying moments of solitude will depend on our introspective capacity, that is, our ability to analyze ourselves, this ability reflects the level of commitment and dedication we have with ourselves, that is, the extent to which we take responsibility for our own lives without delegating our inner world and conflicts to others to resolve them. It’s one thing to find other people’s company to give you what’s left, and it’s another to find each other’s company to get what you’re missing.
It’s not just about not having anyone, we’re talking about the ability to enjoy the moment alone, keep you company, get ready as an escort and enjoy the moment. Even when we could be accompanied, that’s what defines us if we do. This will ensure that the relationship with others is based on desire and not necessity.
“What a pleasant surprise to discover that, after all, being alone is not necessarily the same as feeling alone. “- Ellen Burstyn-