Human beings are social beings by nature for a very simple and logical reason: millions of years ago we needed each other to survive, although it is true that we no longer need others to survive, when we are born, this need for care and care has not changed much.
If we do not receive the necessary care, our survival will be compromised and that is not all: our emotional state can also be affected by lack of self-esteem.
- Children need to feel safe and that safety can come from our parents or someone more responsible for our education.
- Either way.
- That stability or confidence will make that child an emotionally strong.
- Self-confident.
- Self-esteem adult in the future.
However, few people have these characteristics. Most people don’t feel safe, don’t fully trust their skills, and are unrealistic about self-assessment.
Why is it so hard to find a human being who unconditionally loves himself?It seems that lack of love, affection, consideration or respect in childhood may be at the root of this lack of self-esteem. Or, this can also be caused by overprotection or lack of specific limitations, and cultural training received.
There is no point in blaming the past, education or our parents for our insecurity, this can no longer be changed.
We are now adults and we can heal this child in need and help him love himself, no matter what others are doing.
Sometimes, you’ll probably feel like you’re missing something. You can be physically attractive, succeed professionally, have a loving family, and yet realize that something is wrong. Chances are you have low self-esteem.
When a human being does not unconditionally love himself, he will feel that he is missing a piece and that the puzzle is not complete, you can mistakenly try to find it outside, and of course, the parts you find in your environment will never match. Yours.
Then this human being keeps looking for the missing piece and does not realize that the piece that really suits him is the one he can do himself with his love, acceptance and affection.
The reasons why we don’t have this piece is that we focus on education, culture, personal demands?The education we receive systematically censors any act of self-directed love: they call it “egoism. “In this sense, the child gets used to not knowing how to receive praise, not to speak well of himself, to say yes to everything, when in fact he meant no, etc.
We have always been taught that we must prioritize others and that is not right, we will never agree with others if we do not meet our own needs before, if we do not place ourselves at the top of our priority scale.
If we put the needs of others before our own, there will come a time when we will be so tired that we will all be the losers: us and the people around us.
This selfishness translates into a bad person and therefore in the fact that others reject us, because we do not want this to happen we spend our energies with the intention of pleasing others and letting ourselves be carried away, so we feel that the pieces do not fit and that we feel empty: we abandon ourselves and this carelessness does not show love for ourselves.
To increase our self-esteem, we must treat each other well. We can start by writing each other a love letter. You don’t need to be vain, just realistic; we simply love each other and show that love, just as we show it when we love others.
You will be surprised by the complexity of this exercise because, as we have already said, we are not used to praising it, your inner elf will tell you that you are selfish, selfish, vain and a thousand other things. to him and keep loving yourself.
On the other hand, it’s time to start self-assessing realistically, analyze yourself and be as sincere as possible: you know your strengths and limitations, on this basis do what you know it is in your abilities and possibilities. he can’t and won’t do well, because deep down you know you can do it.
Finally, do something every day that brings you closer to your goals and goals, if you succeed and congratulate yourself on it, this will increase your self-esteem because you think you can, forget about perfectionism and act knowing that perfection doesn’t exist.
You will notice that the missing piece will adapt and you will no longer feel so dependent on the exterior and the love and acceptance of others. You will feel complete with your own acceptance.