“I have trouble getting in touch with people, is there anything out of the ordinary in my house?What kind of problem do I have? This is a recurring problem for those who have difficulty socializing, making friends, finding a partner or acting. “assertively in any context. Regardless of what we may believe, this is a very common problem.
Agatha Christie would have had a deep fear of making public appearances and giving interviews, while Jorge Luis Borges, on the other hand, has always been an accomplished shy, to the point of sending his friend Oliverio Girondo to replace him in public duties.
- None of them were good at socializing.
- But the truth is that they didn’t want to either.
- They simply preferred their safe spaces.
- Their daily creative life.
- Those with limits to socialize.
- In fact.
- They want to socialize.
- They want to have greater resolution and ability with people to move around college.
- At work.
- In entertainment venues and wherever there are just other people.
Thus, while personalities, such as those already mentioned or others, such as Albert Einstein and writers Cormac McCarthy and Harper Lee, show obvious traits of shyness, not all people who have sociability problems are shy.
Let’s understand a little more what’s behind these behaviors
When a person wonders why he has trouble communicating with others, he thinks of something quite common: he believes that our society overestimates extraversion, an open personality, this social figure with (apparently) an excellent ability to connect and stand out.
However, assuming this idea is, in a way, a mistake, introverts and extroverts can be successful socially. In addition, there are also extroverted personalities who have obvious relationship problems and even relationship building, which we highlight as a concrete fact: the difficulty of socializing effectively and fortunately does not always depend on shyness or introversion, it is a factor that influences, It is true, but not the only one.
Childhood is a decisive factor that explains our skills or our relationship difficulties, most of us unconsciously have internalized the relational rules that our primary caregivers instilled in us, if they did not accomplish this task with others, did not succeed with us. either.
The same goes for our communication. If our parents’ language skills weren’t very strong and didn’t interact much with us, it also has an effect.
Not everything has its origins in our childhood. Sometimes the reason people have difficulty communicating is due to psychological and even neurological factors.
Here are some examples
At first we talked about how personalities like Agatha Christie or Borges avoided social contact, their obvious shyness has led them to prefer safe environments and avoid exposure to situations that generate stress and discomfort, because it is impossible to answer the question: why?Do I have trouble communicating with people, regardless of one of the most obvious factors: shy personality.
However, instead of focusing on this pattern of behavior, it’s interesting to understand what’s behind it. Shy people perceive the outside world differently because of the so-called sensitivity to sensory perception.
What exactly is this dimension?
All of these factors show that shyness also has a neurological basis, however, this does not prevent these people from learning appropriate strategies to improve sociability.
We can all improve our social skills. Learning to identify yourself to enjoy interactions in any environment is accessible to everyone.
Here are some starting points
In conclusion, there’s only one thing to point out: if your difficulty reporting is chronic, something you’ve been dragging for years and that affects your quality of life, be sure to see a professional. make a big difference.