Why do people let me down? Why, if I always give everything for others, do they end up failing? Many people ask these questions with sadness, in the maze of this constant frustration that has no way out or solution, they are very painful psychological states in which a person can even stop informing the fear of having the same experience.
Disappointments are not forgotten, they leave marks and scratches on the heart, it is true that there are those who handle these experiences much better and page quickly, however, many get trapped, rusty for years with these corrosive emotions.
What is the origin of these situations?
We’ll see more details below.
Each of us has values, pillars upon which we build our perception of the world; about what love, respect, friendship and even common sense are. We assume, in turn, that not everyone will agree on all points in our internal repertoire. We accept that it is impossible to agree 100% with all the people we know or are. part of our lives.
However, we demand respect. We expect at least trust and authenticity, however, in many cases this principle of coexistence is not respected, it is the law of life. However, there are those who suffer periodically, who continue to stumble continuously on this painful stone that lies in the middle of the road.
Why did this happen?
You could say that, to navigate a little better between our relationships, we must not immediately place all our trust in whom we have just met. Evolutionary psychologist Robert Kurzban explains something very interesting in his book Why Everyone (Else) Is a Hypocrite : Evolution and Modular Mind.
In any case, it’s better to be careful. We must not leave all our trust in the hearts of others in the first second. We have to observe people in little things, in small acts.
As William Shakespeare said, the root of all suffering is our high expectations, so who asks, why do people let me down?
In many cases, reducing the caliber will allow us to live a little better, without constantly waiting for others to be the way we want them to be, according to our needs and needs.
Sometimes it happens. There are people who tend to engage in relationships with a partner or friendship with an excessively harmful personality profile, for example, men and women with great empathy and with classic Wendy’s syndrome (they should be useful to others) tend to have ties to narcissists.
This is something that happens very often: our personality types can correspond to those who least suit us, all this is due to unmet needs, to that low self-esteem that leads us to be attracted to people who make us feel seen. there comes a time when we realize reality; manipulation, deception and wear and tear.
We all know what the term reciprocity means: mutual correspondence, receiving what is offered, well, bringing it to the letter can cause us great suffering, most expect something from others, at least an absolute equivalence between what is offered and what is offered. Provided.
However, we must be aware that relationships are not commercial transactions, if throughout our lives we constantly ask ourselves “why do people let me down?”, perhaps we should reformulate the true meaning of reciprocity:
In conclusion, accepting that disappointments are part of the way of life is essential, however, it is healthier for us to learn to lower expectations and be a little more cautious with the trust we place in others, caution is always a good companion. Let’s keep that in mind.