Albert Einstein once said that explaining how we feel about a special person and why we fall in love under the strict terms of love chemistry is like subtracting the magic from the subject, but whether we like it or not, there are processes such as attraction or the most obsessive passion, in which neurochemistry alone delimits fascinating and complex territory that also defines part of who we are.
Love, from a romantic or philosophical point of view, is something that poets and writers talk about every day, we all like to immerse ourselves in these literary universes where a feeling that sometimes gives way to more mysteries than certainties is idealized. , on passion, it is neurologists who can provide us with more accurate data; less suggestive, but objective and real.
- “The encounter of two personalities is like the contact of two chemists: if there is a reaction.
- Both are transformed.
- -CG Jung-.
In addition, anthropologists also offer us an interesting perspective that corresponds very well to the chemistry of love that we know through neuroscience, in fact, if something has always captivated this field of knowledge is the idea of being able to identify the underlying processes. couples who create lasting bonds and are able to build a stable and happy commitment.
Anthropologists tell us that humanity seems to use three “trends”: distinct brain cells. The first is one in which sexual impulse guides much of our behavior; the second refers to “romantic love”, where addictions and high emotional and personal relationships are generated; the third approach is the one that forms a healthy attachment, where the couple builds a significant complicity from which both members benefit.
However, in addition to understanding what guarantees stability and happiness in a couple, there is one aspect that interests everyone: we talk about falling in love, we talk about the chemistry of love, that strange, intense and disconcerting process that sometimes makes us put our eyes, our minds and our hearts on the least suitable person. Or, on the contrary, in the safest, in the final?
It is quite possible that our readers think that passion can only be explained from a neurochemical point of view. That attraction is the result of a formula whose variables correspond to this chemistry of love and the neurotransmitters involved in this process, in which our capricious brain orchestrates magic, desire and obsession at will.
It’s not like that. Each of us has a particular preference, very profound, idiosyncratic and sometimes even unconscious. There is also clear evidence that we often fall in love with people with characteristics similar to ours: similar degree of intelligence, similar sense of humor, same values?
However, there is something striking and fascinating about it, we can be in a classroom with 30 people with similar characteristics, similar tastes and similar values, and we will never fall in love with all of them, said the Indian poet and philosopher Kabir that the path of love is narrow and that, in the heart, there is room for a person. What other factors provide such destiny and what is the chemistry of love?
& Quot; Dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin & quot; We are a natural medicine factory when we fall in love. -Helen Fisher-
Intangible, invisible and imperceptible. If we say at this stage that our genes give birth to a particular smell capable of causing attraction between some people and not others, it is quite possible that more than one eyebrow will rise in the face of subtle skepticism.
We may have an extremely attractive person in front of us, but something is still missing. It’s no use to us, the conversation doesn’t flow, there’s no harmony, comfort or connection. Many wouldn’t hesitate to say that, “. there’s no chemistry, ” and that wouldn’t be a mistake.
Also, one thing we’ve all experienced at the same time is the persistent need to be with one person, not another. Does passion make us selective and is it dopamine that forces us to concentrate all over our world?in this particular person, to the point where we become “bséd”.
We know that a person attracts us because it produces a roller coaster of chaotic sensations, intense, contradictory and sometimes uncontrollable, we sweat our hands, we eat less, we sleep only a few hours or not, we think less clearly. without realizing it, we find ourselves turned into a small satellite that revolves around a single thought: the figure of the beloved.
When we are in love there is an organic compound that completely dominates us: Phenylethylamine, as the word suggests, we are faced with an element that shares many similarities with amphetamines and which, combined with dopamine and serotonin, synthesizes the perfect recipe for a love film.
Phenylethylamine is like sugar in a drink or varnish that is put on a canvas: everything becomes more intense Is it the action of dopamine and serotonin, which constitutes the true chemistry of love to make us feel happy, fulfilled and incredibly motivated ?
The neurochemicals we have talked about so far (dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine) are the three fractions of the undisputed power that governs the first moments of passion, where the desire, nervousness, passion or obsession of the loved one guides each of our behaviors.
This is not to say that in this first phase oxytocin and Serotonin were not present as they were, however, it is a little later that these become more relevant, when the two neurotransmitters will intensify our bonds much more, encouraging us to enter a more rewarding phase where we will strengthen the bond.
Let’s take a look at the details
Oxytocin is the hormone that shapes love in “capital letters. “We no longer talk about simple “passion” or attraction (where the substances mentioned above are more involved); we talk about the need to take care of your loved one, to love him, to caress him, to be part of his loved one in a long-term commitment.
On the other hand, it should be noted once again that oxytocin is associated, above all, with the generation of emotional bonds, and not only those related to motherhood or sexuality. We know, for example, that the more important our physical contact is, the more we caress, kiss or kiss, the more oxytocin our brain releases.
To conclude, the chemistry of love orchestrates, whether we like it or not, a large part of our behaviors, both in passion and in later phases, where other factors aimed at building commitment and stability as a couple come into play.
In addition, Dr. Helen Fisher points out in her work that human beings are not the only creature capable of falling in love, as Darwin himself pointed out at the time, there are more than 100 species in our world, elephants, birds and even rodents who choose a partner and stay with him for the rest of their lives. They feel what the experts have called “primitive romantic love. “
Defining this universal emotion in terms of chemistry can be a bit suggestive, as Einstein said, but is that what we all are: a fabulous cellular structure, electrical reactions and nervous impulses capable of offering us the most exquisite happiness?
references
Giuliano, F . ; Allard J. (2001). Dopamine and sexual function. Int J Impot Press.
Sabelli H, Javaid J. Modulation of the effect of phenylethylamine: therapeutic and diagnostic implications. Journal of Neuropsychiatry 1995; 7: 6-14.
Fisher, H. (2004). Why we love: the nature and chemistry of romantic love. New York: Henry Holt.
Garrido, José Maria (2013). The chemistry of love. Editorial Madrid. Chiado
Fisher, Helen (2009). Why we love. Madrid: Taurus