Why is a couple separated in love? That’s what we see every day, what’s more, we may even have had this experience of leaving those we love, saying goodbye forever to anyone who could be everything and in the end stayed in nothing, they’re riots that hide something else. than a simple incompatibility, the burden of routine or communication problems.
There are still those who love each other and come and go before moving on to the final breakup. There are distances and new beginnings, are there many? It doesn’t work, is it better to take a break?Let’s try again, but are we going to do it right this time?Despite this, nothing seems to help, because love in this final phase hurts and the measures taken only increase the wound.
- Francoise Sagan emphasizes that loving is not only wanting.
- But understanding.
- Being able to connect with each other’s reality.
- Is perhaps one of the main reasons why we abandon the people we love.
- To be ourselves and not to dilute ourselves in eternal suffering.
For much of our lives (especially when we are younger), we consider love to be the glue that holds everything together.
We are happy to find someone to love and, above all, to love, however, over the years and experiences, we have discovered with some disappointment that love cannot do everything, nor the magic formula of happy relationships.
To understand the reason for stability or the most common causes of separation between couples, it is common to review John Gottman’s classical studies. Over the past 40 years, he and Robert Levenson, professor of psychobiology at UC Berkeley, have studied this relationship dynamics through follow-ups, therapies, interviews, and personal relationships.
So while achieving a happy and lasting relationship seems almost as complex as solving the rubik’s cube, it’s not really that much, it won’t be complicated if we know what these factors make it possible to understand, for example, why a couple in love separates. This is perhaps the most striking and delicate circumstance. Let’s look at the reasons.
We can be united to a person by many points: passion, attraction, friendship, complicity and even this magic capable of making transcendent any situation, however, there is an abyss that does not close, a suffering that does not go away.
This something is usually everyone’s life project, maybe your work is decisive for you, that goal in which you put your plans for the future, however your partner does not see this aspiration with good eyes. It can also happen that one wants to start a family and the other is not prepared.
Lack of harmony in these personal goals is a determining factor in a couple’s stability.
To understand, you basically have to put yourself in the shoes of each other and, at the same time, being yourself to connect with the reality of others, is something that, at first glance, seems basic and fundamental, but it is not a fact. that’s done so often in a relationship. Sometimes love doesn’t know or don’t want to understand.
One of the reasons why a romantic couple often separates is the lack of appreciation, there are times when time hurts us and does it in a very concrete way, is it very common to start taking many things for granted: others, their actions, efforts, details, desires, virtues?
It is true that we do not need to glorify ourselves for who we are or do, but in a relationship, this recognition and validation is necessary.
The quality of communication is one of the most decisive elements for a relationship to have a future, to know how to listen, to speak for sure, to know how to argue without emotions dominating us and to reach agreements is very important in any emotional connection.
Therefore, another explanation for the separation of a loving couple is, in many cases, this problem.
The couple is not an isolated entity, it is not protected by a sphere that separates them from the facts and vital circumstances, the family or parents, for example, can influence a member to the point of restricting the relationship, placing obstacles in front of which nothing. It’s done.
There is the work environment and even the social environment, dimensions that can test a couple in various ways. There may be infidelities or even attempts, facts that create mistrust in a relationship.
In the same way, events can also occur in which, therefore, we see what the couple really is: a disease, a legal problem? Seeing how you react can mean discovering that it may not be how we thought it would be.
In conclusion, it can sometimes be difficult to understand why a couple in love separates, however, once again, we must be aware that a relationship is not born and is not based solely on love.
Is a relationship built, is it conceived as a delicate profession that needs many elements to remain strong, beautiful and sustainable?