If you have ever been hurt or have been in a very difficult situation, I am sure you have wondered why you should forgive; In addition, you must also have felt in your skin that this is not easy and that you can confuse forgiveness with forgetfulness. is that once something or someone hurts us, turn the page is a complicated task.
Forgetfulness is a process of memory (amnesic process) that depends almost exclusively on the time and context in which you find yourself, that is, forgetfulness is the fruit that arises when you stop using the information that we store in your brain, while forgiving is remembering and not being anchored in the emotion generated by memory.
- The truth is that we cannot apply many tricks to forget.
- Because forgetfulness is the result of the passage of time.
- Now it will be easier to forget what we have no contact with; for example.
- If we move away from a place.
- Avoid seeing a person or going through a situation.
- It will be easier and faster to forget.
- So to forget.
- You have to walk away and wait.
However, forgiveness is somewhat different, and it means “Although I remember what happened, though I remember the damage I suffered, can I go ahead and move on?”To do this is to stop thinking about revenge, stop thinking about the injustice of the situation and be able to reposition emotions in the past, without affecting our present and our future.
Have you ever thought about the difference between forgiving and forgetting?Keep in mind that these two words don’t mean the same thing and that you should be able to move on. You know why? Because you’ll never forget who hurt you, you’ll never forget the pain, but you can learn to live with him if you know how to leave him behind.
Turning the page serves to break the bond with pain, it is a matter of letting go and letting the flames of anger, hatred and revenge gradually fade, in this way you will be free to start a new stage, achieving it allows you to start a new stage of your life, in which pain and anguish characterize a moment of your past , but not your present.
In addition, forgiving will make you own your time and energy, for when a person has unresolved conflicts or unfinished internships, even if he does not realize it, does his mind take a lot of time and energy to complete and close these tasks?forgiving someone causes the allocation of their psychological resources to this outstanding task and, therefore, great emotional exhaustion can occur.
Conflict resolution also serves to feel safer and more at peace with oneself, as it helps us move forward and look to the future without negative emotional burdens that absorb our energy and motivation Someone who forgives and empties his emotional backpack and is motivated by the challenges of the future brings with him a sense of inner peace irreplaceable and 100% necessary when he wants to live fully.
At this point, it is very interesting to think of an aspect of forgiveness that few people take into account, when you forgive, you do it for yourself, not for the one who hurt you, doing it is not a gift that you give to the one who made you suffer, but a gift you make yourself. You do not forgive and do not benefit the other; Forgiveness will be beneficial to you in the first place, as you will allow yourself to accept suffering and pain and leave them in the past.
On the other hand, forgiveness is critical to being your guide and leader, but beyond that, you may have to forgive yourself. To be the leader of your life, you must forgive your mistakes, your failures, your weaknesses, your regrets, the damage you have done to yourself, so we could continue with a long list of circumstances in which you would have to forgive yourself.
Self-realization can only be achieved through forgiveness and reconciliation with yourself, because once you do, you will focus your energy on creating the best version of yourself and your life project as a human being. When you forgive and learn to deal with forgiveness, you feel free to decide what affects you and what doesn’t affect you, what keeps you moving and what doesn’t, and so everything flows and you focus on yourself.
Forgiveness is not an easy task, but also not impossible, in fact there are different psychotherapy exercises that can help you forgive, the first step is to focus on your present and your future, take responsibility for the here and now and own your emotions, little by little you will achieve it.