How many times have we seen and starred in this scene?When we are young, we have no qualms about asking for help, however, as we grow, things often change.
If you’re not, I’m sure you know someone who would rather use an immense amount of resources to solve a problem that with a little help would cost nothing. Or that you’d rather give up or fail than let someone give you a hand.
- Let’s go back to another childhood scene.
- ” Mom.
- Mom.
- Did I do it myself!Leave me!! Can I be alone?””All right.
- Son.
- Did you do it yourself!? This feedback that promotes autonomy is often the beginning of the path to a less positive custom.
There are many reasons for this behavior and many benefits that are lost by not asking for help.
1. La first reason is probably pride; we just want the credit of solving a problem for ourselves and we don’t want to share it with anyone.
2. La second reason that can prevent the request for help is that the person does not want to admit a problem. In that sense, imagine the person who has incurred gambling debts or is addicted to alcohol. Neither of us is easy to share.
3. La third common reason is shame, we don’t want anyone else to see us do any action. Some people think there’s a weakness in demand for help.
4. La fourth reason is that there is always the possibility that assistance will be rejected. Behind this fear is the fear of being rejected, to feel that we are not well enough for someone to dedicate their time to us.
After all, behind many of these reasons lies another more momentous one: the fear of being judged by others. We don’t like it, just when we can show weakness, other people’s attention is fixed on us. That’s why asking for help. Many times it is necessary to have some confidence and we would certainly not ask everyone for help, for the same reasons, regardless of their abilities, so asking for help most of the time is not a sign of relaxation but of courage.
First, when we don’t ask for help, we can spend a lot of resources that, if they don’t become an effective result, can create a sense of great frustration. Second, we miss the opportunity to experience the goodness of others and improve our worldview; you miss the opportunity for interpersonal contact that can be really rewarding. In addition, from social psychology we know that when we ask for help, we improve the concept that the person who helps us has of ourselves.
On the other hand, let us not forget that we are social animals and that in these situations we miss a good opportunity to develop our nature. Finally, in addition to when we ask for help we also receive special attention, you miss an excellent opportunity to gain security and confidence.
We know that helping them is wonderful, but letting them help us is no less so, why not try?
Photo courtesy of marinadelcastell