Forgetting a love is like trying to break a graphene surface: something impossible, because there are memories, stories and experiences that were written from passion and magic that leaves indelible traces in memory.
So whether we like it or not, it is impossible to erase the loves of the past because they also helped us to be who we are now.
- In one of his books.
- Lebanese writer Khalil Gibran said that the heart must break at some point in life to be truly open.
- It may be true that you learn to love and that broken hearts are the ones that contain the most wisdom between the lines of your scars.
In any case, far beyond the disappointments lived and the happiness used, there is an obvious fact: the brain never forgets what it once loved.
No matter the recipes, the tricks or the sophisticated strategies to erase from our memory this person that we love above all, they are useless.
Because what we lived is not forgotten, we simply end up recognizing this absence, accepting what happened (and could not be), allowing us, in turn, to expand the background of our learnings and experiences.
? The cut rope can be knotted again, can be retained, but cut. Maybe we can cross paths again, but where you left me, won’t you find me?-Bertolt Brecht-
Sometimes it is necessary to leave a relationship and end it as soon as possible, and perhaps it is for the good of both, to preserve dignity in good condition and avoid doing us more harm than necessary.
As they say, finishing at the right time is the only strategy to get out of one piece, however, regardless of whether this ending was by mutual agreement or the decision of a single person, the suffering that remains is generally immense.
Some studies show that, on average, it takes 6 to 18 months to overcome an emotional breakdown. Forgetting love is impossible because no one can change the will of their own memories.
However, we can modulate the emotional impact and make bereavement a basic and necessary process through which we can gradually manage feelings to accept the new situation.
However, as we well know, love is an intense emotion, sometimes chaotic and even messy, no relationship is the same. That is why there are those who find grief more difficult, while others, on the contrary, turn the page with the desired solidity.
In any case, forgetting love is, so far, an unlikely fact because of the peculiarities of our brain, let’s look at a little more information about it.
People are essentially emotional creatures who learned to reason, and emotions are, above all, the cornerstone of connecting with each other.
Through them we connect, take care of ourselves, identify risks and promote our well-being.
If forgetting love is impossible, it is also due to another fact, if we could erase that relationship from our memory, we would also erase ourselves, people are not only made of flesh and blood, but also stories.
Therefore, among these memories related to a love of the past, there is also the person we were at the time, a younger, more optimistic version of himself that gets carried away by all his passion for someone.
The brain will never choose to forget this version of our past self, which would mean taking a step back in our personal development, because everything we have lived, felt and even suffered has allowed us to shape the person we are now.
Therefore, it would be a pity to dispense with the commas or fragments of our own life story, whether good or bad, that’s who we are.
Best of all, we have a constant opportunity to keep writing better stories because love is always worth it.