Learning to impose limits does not mean defending our opinions and beliefs at all costs, as if they were impositions, nor does it mean being honest all the time, regardless of what others think and feel.
Specifically, imposing limits means telling people what we need and what we need, factors that may be different from what others need and want, is it about expressing what we want?And what don’t we want? Not to mention the needs and desires of others. others, considering what people think and feel.
Imposing boundaries means drawing lines with others (and with us) that should not be crossed.
Edward T. Hall and Robert Sommer, pioneers in the study of personal space, ensure that these established boundaries are more than physical territory, it is a place where we feel protected mentally, physically and emotionally, a refuge where no one can attack us. with your comments or behavior.
However, in their studies they have shown that it is common for these limits to be crossed in our day-to-day lives, barriers that we do not always protect with the attention and resources necessary to ensure that they do not break. and why it’s so important to impose limits.
What limits me by imposing limits and saying? Fear of rejection is likely to play a decisive role.
For example, when a colleague asks me for help, but I don’t want or think it’s convenient to help, the fear of the relationship deteriorating is a factor that will eventually lead me to help, even if it’s not what I want.
Sometimes we prioritize the needs of others over ours and feel guilty when we say?No, at someone’s request. Guilt leads to thoughts like, “If I don’t do this, will I be a bad friend?”Am I a selfish person?” I think I’m a bad person for not helping. “
These thoughts are often exaggerated. Of course, I’m not a bad person for not setting aside my plans to do what I was asked to do or to prioritize my interests, it’s not about being selfish and putting ourselves above others, but we can’t belittle each other. issue of balance.
At the same time, we set no limits when we tend to take responsibility for everything, getting excessively involved in the problems of others.
Is it hard to say no? Because we tend to take responsibility for tasks that are not our responsibility, for example, helping others doing their job when they can do it, solving a friend’s problem when it’s not up to us to do it. ?
One of the advantages of imposing limits has to do with self-knowledge, to impose limits you have to have a good knowledge of yourself and your own needs, it is about always being aware of what you want and what is needed. What makes you feel comfortable?
In turn, imposing limits will allow you to respect yourself more, and to the extent this happens, others will also respect you according to the limits you’ve set yourself.
Imposing limits can lead to a significant increase in your self-esteem, simply by talking about yourself and giving you the space you need, feel better about yourself and boost your self-esteem will you lose the fear of showing yourself as you are?. In the end, you’ll release the tension and still have to be alert if something or someone threatens to damage your vulnerability.
You’ll feel free to express your needs no matter how others receive them, without feeling guilty about not doing what others expect of you.
Learning to set boundaries also means saying “NO?”when we want without feeling pressured to do what others want and need.
It is a way of connecting with others in a healthy and balanced way, without imbalances or inequalities in terms of what each contributes to the relationship.
You will be able to show others how you want them to communicate with you, and this will bring you a lot of personal satisfaction, so frustration and stress in the absence of limits will no longer be present in your relationships.
When you manage to respect your limits and those of others, your relationships will become healthy and stable relationships over time, respect can be felt in your relationships and no one will feel invaded by each other.
In short, learning to impose limits on others allows us to strengthen and create aspects related to personal well-being, this allows us to correctly identify and define our own needs, making us protagonists of our choices and thus generating a sense of responsibility at the stage of our lives.