The end of a relationship, either by separation or by the death of one of the members, is a painful experience, however, the grief of toxic relationships, due to the characteristics inherent in this type of connection, is often very complicated.
When we talk about toxic relationships, we think of unions; however, any human interaction can have a harmful dynamic, so both the end of a friendship and the death of a loved one can present complications, especially if the established bond has not been healthy.
- It may seem illogical that it is more difficult to let go of the people who hurt us like the people who gave us their love.
- Those who face the loss of a toxic relationship are often misunderstood and judged by their environment.
- We need to focus our attention on some important factors.
In general, people who establish toxic relationships and stay there have certain emotional problems they need to work on, it’s common for these people to be very afraid of rejection and abandonment, insecitive, indecisive, and emotionally dependent.
Although not in a healthy way, the relationship covers these internal wounds and the addict concentrates all his energy on the other. When the relationship ends, he is forced to face his own inner world, to focus all his attention on himself.
Thus, fears and emotional wounds reappear more strongly, making the situation emotionally unbearable. Remember that in mourning, each of us is your main support. If we get hurt at the base, we won’t be able to support ourselves properly.
One of the most affected aspects when someone is involved in a toxic relationship is self-esteem, such relationships in which you feel so much suffering undermine self-confidence.
The value a person attributes to himself decreases as he remains in this harmful interaction, so he ends up feeling weak, inadequate, and unable to move forward without the other person.
Self-love is fundamental to detecting and ending abuse, it is he who reminds us that we are precious and able to defend ourselves, it is the force that leads us not to tolerate any kind of abuse, even if the consequence is loneliness.
In toxic relationships, self-love is destroyed; the person underestimates himself, even thinking that she no longer deserves what he receives; on the other hand, confidence in your skills is so diminished that you can’t cope with a breakup. that we must say has been shattered by constant humiliation.
When we maintain a healthy relationship there are usually no outstanding issues, each has fulfilled its role, bringing affection, safety and understanding to the other, so when the paths are separated it is easier to close the cycle focusing on good. memories and good feelings.
On the contrary, in the grief of toxic relationships tend to take root emotions such as anger, resentment or disappointment, there is basically the idea that every effort made and all the suffering endured must be rewarded, so we wait for the other party to change at some point and reimburse us for the total delivery. When the relationship ends, that hope shatters and anger arises.
In addition, dysfunctional thoughts may appear during grief, we may wonder why we weren’t enough, why the other person never loved us, or what we could have done to change that, this mental rumia intensifies discomfort, and makes effective adaptation difficult.
However, overcoming the pain of toxic relationships is not impossible, it can be said that the mourning of a relationship is similar to its disappearance, so in healthy and respectful relationships we will find an equally calm and conscious duel.
On the other hand, after a toxic relationship, grief will be charged with the same suffering and despair that characterized the union of the couple. Moving forward will require deep personal work to restore the pillars of self-esteem and confidence, essential for curative and non-repetitive patterns.