Narcissists are self-centered, arrogant, exploitative, but captivate and fall in love.
Recent psychological research has shown that we are strangely attracted to narcissistic people, their self-centered personality, their situational dominance and even their hostility.
- Even psychologists suffer from this fascination with narcissists and wonder how they manage to have so much influence on people and why they embody so many paradoxes.
Social psychologist Mitja Back and her colleagues decided to investigate narcissism.
73 students, who did not know each other, were invited to report. Each was evaluated by others for their kindness; He completed several questionnaires, including an assessment of narcissistic personality traits.
The results showed that
1. Narcissists are more popular. They are much more appreciated by others than non-narcissists.
2. Participants realized the sense of authority of narcissists. In the evaluation questionnaires, students took into account four aspects of narcissism: leadership/authoritarianism, self-admiration/egocentrism, arrogance/superiority and tendency to exploitation.
3. Narcissists like their appearance, tone of voice and mastery of movement, they usually have an attractive spirit that they love when we meet them.
The reason narcissists are most popular is because they know how to use facial expression, how to put a tone of voice that inspires confidence, disguises themselves and has a fashionable haircut and are more fun.
Clearly, this effect only occurs in the short term, narcissists are usually easy to spot and are immediately rejected, few people support a friend who takes advantage of others, who is self-centered, authoritarian and arrogant.
There are many paradoxes in narcissistic behavior and the way they act. Psychological research has raised some questions:
The first two questions can be partially explained considering that this behavior is initially attractive to others.
For narcissists, behaving selfishly arouses the admiration of others, making them dependent.
On the other hand, underestimating those who reject it is a way to hide that they are already looking for other “victims” to follow them.
What’s more, this is why narcissists don’t detect when it’s time to stop before losing their partner or friends: the attraction they provoke in people doesn’t last long, anyone who wants to criticize a narcissist for his attitude runs away before confronting him. .
The best show for narcissists today is a reality show. This study clearly shows why narcissists are the perfect competitors for these programs.
They immediately capture our attention and sympathy with their behavior and safety in themselves. Besides, they’re flashy and arrogant.
Then, when we are able to discover their true nature, we tend to despise them, all these feelings prevent us from detaching ourselves from the TV screen.
By applying the lessons of this study, we can say that narcissists should not be encouraged by paying too much attention to them or making fun of them.
Not only can they harm us, but they can also keep us relentlessly trapped in the vicious cycle of attraction and rejection.