Wanting others to be happy costs nothing and says a lot about us, and this kind of truly personal gaze is reflected in our well-being.
However, from time to time, we meet people who think, “I want you to be happy, but no more than me. “They are people who contradict the principle of human interconnection.
- Most of us have had a similar experience.
- An experience in which we approached someone we thought was important.
- Who we could give good news to.
- Share things.
- Or tell something good that had happened.
However, at the moment, you perceive the tone of the voice, a certain falsehood or anger that immediately reveals a failure in the connection; dissonance in emotions and reciprocity.
Feeling bad for the happiness of others reveals something deeper than the shadow of envy. Sometimes it’s a blow to self-esteem.
It also means realizing that others are able to overcome and achieve goals while still being surrounded by insecurity. It is not easy to tolerate the joy of others when frustration is a constant in their minds.
Wishing for the well-being of others and celebrating the triumphs of others is an exercise in well-being, this has nothing to do with ethical, moral, religious or spiritual principles, in fact, behind this expressed desire there is a valid and interesting psychological basis explained by some scientific studies.
“Love is the condition in which each other’s happiness is essential to him. “Robert A. Heinlein-
Iowa State University in the United States conducted a very interesting and at the same time curious study. Dr. Douglas A. Gentile and his team from the Department of Psychology selected a group of people who had been diagnosed with stress and anxiety.
They were trained for several days with a very simple technique that gave them good results:
To this end, they asked that they simply wish happiness to all who knew during the journey, so that the mere fact of projecting in others an express desire for well-being and positivity was reflected, in turn, in their own well-being. .
The mind has reduced the obsessive burden of obsessive-compulsive concerns and thoughts. The inner calm and focus on a feeling of affection generated comfort and satisfaction.
Dr. Douglas Gentile has demonstrated three things with this experiment: the first is that the level of anxiety and stress has been significantly reduced, and that this has not only occurred through physical exercise.
It was enough to change the internal dialogue of the person and, above all, his emotional concentration, it was simply a matter of moving from internal negativity to stimulating a mental effort to project kindness.
Wishing others were happy, who crossed your path was a complete stranger, increasing your empathy and feelings of connection.
As a result, they paid more attention to the faces of others, opened their eyes to the outside and, in particular, to the human factor to connect with it.
In psychology we talk about the boomerang effect to explain how certain acts, words or thoughts generate a kind of consequence, so something as basic as being able to wish others to be happy always impacts us.
There is an emotional reward and also a kind of catharsis, let’s think about it. imagine, for example, that we have a very envious colleague.
He is one of those people who always looks at us sideways, showing some discomfort in the way we work and with our professional skills.
If we imitated his behavior, we would create a feedback in which discomfort, negativism and confrontation would lead us to a very uncomfortable state of stress.
On the other hand, wishing the person good will relax us, accept that everyone is like him and wanting her to be happy within her means that she takes a lot of weight, frees our minds and avoids unnecessary hostilities.
So, the famous saying: do good without looking at whom,’ can it also be reformulated as ‘Wish happiness without looking at whom’.
Because simply projecting positive thoughts improves the chemistry of our brains, alters internal dialogue and forces us to make a mental effort to open ourselves up a little more to others, how about implementing this simple health council and this human connection?
“Seek the well-being of as many people as possible and you will often see these people with their faces full of joy. “Alessandro Manzoni