One way or another, at some point in our lives we all end up taking off our headband and making a curl in our hair. Because after all, so our face is more beautiful, the gaze freer, well lit and awakens to discover reality as it deserves, without veils.
As Ortega and Gasset said: “Love is a kind of passing imbecility, a ‘white’?Mental and psychic anguish ?. It is possible that the famous philosopher, eager to find an explanation for human affections, could not see any logic in passion. And that. . . that often imprisons us as a sweet dream, yet beyond what one can think of, affections make a logic and a lot of meaning.
“Love and hatred are not blind: they are dominated by the fire they carry in them. “Friedrich Nietzsche?
Dr. Robert Einstein of Harvard University tells us that living blindfolded for a while, whether in our relationships or other personal dynamics, is part of our psychological and emotional growth, we should not regret this period, all the inverted energies, dreams or emotions lived That would mean denying a part of ourselves.
In fact, love is not blind, what happens is that sometimes it sees more than it should: they are mirrors and distorted images that do not correspond to reality, we know that seeing life through the heart often comes at a price, but it is another part of our life learning. Something we would never learn if we refused to love, to savor, to try to make these jumps into the void without parachute, where sometimes we do well, and sometimes we hurt ourselves.
Can we think about that?
We’ve taken off this headband more than once. Instead of creating a definitive bond with her to move forward with her free face and open eyes, we repeat the same mistakes of the past; that is, we love blindly, we trust in darkness, we feel and we leave our hearts in the hands of others. Why do we sometimes become repeat offenders of a captive and painful love?
“Love, being so blind, prevents lovers from seeing the nonsense they commit. William Shakespeare?
The hostages of painful love, those who still suffer for love, suffer from a very common disease: lack of self-esteem. The world is not strategically organized in such a way that we constantly encounter “bad people,” interested traffickers and assailants. Only when we are very clear about what we really need or won’t be more selective, more cautious and receptive, because when you know what you want, you find what you deserve.
According to a study published by the UK’s National Statistical Institute, people claim to find what they still expected after thirty years, and especially after forty years, that’s when they feel safer and able to integrate the experience of past relationships. , with the serenity of a present where nothing is missing and nothing left over.
At this stage, we look at more than charm or passion; we seek love, self-realization with a partner with whom we have a common project to invest with maturity and honesty.
Most evolutionary biologists believe that this emotional chaos that blinds us, imprisons us, accelerates our hearts and leads us through mazes as dark as they are passionate, has one goal: procreation, according to this approach, our genes predispose us to this when we make it fall in love: mirror neurons instantly connect and explode in our brains, real colored fireworks that are dopamine , testosterone, vasopressin, oxytocin and serotonin . . . All of this speeds up the attraction even more.
Love is blind and madness accompanies it
In addition, another aspect that we highlight is that passion puts you in “stand by” some processes as important as the meaning of discrimination, logical analysis or even, in a sense, the sense of judgment. Does our mind take the form of one? Tunnel? Where the important thing is concentrated, our emotional partner.
Erich Fromm rightly said that there are people “addicted to infatuation. “They are delighted with this blind, bubbly and almost anesthetic love. However, when the maturity phase arrives, in which dispute resolution, acceptance of defects and the establishment of a common project are priorities, this relationship ends.
If you haven’t met someone like this yet, don’t be in a hurry, just take the weeds out of your sadness, tie your hair and look at the world with the certainty that, at the right time, you’ll find what you really deserve.