How many times have you tried to escape with someone and ended up comforting the other?Have you ever felt like you just need to be heard and not given advice?Have you ever felt a real lack of attention on your skin when you needed it?So, so you don’t make the same mistake with others, we’ll give you some strategies to help a grieving person.
Listen, empathize and love: these are the most important references when you want to help someone who is going through a grieving process. It can be death, loss, or abandonment; the main problem is that now there is a void that was previously filled by someone else, how can we help someone in this situation?
- Words are a double-edged sword and can hurt or heal.
- They can lighten or generate more weight for those who use or hear them.
- They are free words.
- But they can also be counterproductive to those who pronounce or listen to them.
- Create opportunities or condemn us; save or sink.
“It is better to be the king of your silence than a slave to your words. William Shakespeare?
Just as there are words that help the other, there are words that leave a toxic residue. Alba Paya, specialist in situations of grief and loss, comments in your book? The message of tears? Some of the phrases that do not help a person grieve:
The suffering person does not think about strength at this time; he just needs to retire and heal the wound, overcoming the loss, besides, he is unable to get distracted, his mind is trapped in his memories, but also in his own absence, the impossibility of the company, the farewell, the farewell, the uncertainty ?, in many cases also fear, because the one who left was a great support. What to do now?
How can buses or subways continue to work when everything is stopped?The mourner suffers an injury in a world that is indifferent to him (or simulates another attitude, but deep down there is also indifference). We do not know whether the person who has left suffers or has suffered, but what we can see and feel is the suffering of those who have stayed.
It’s funny, but perhaps the most desired thing at the time is respect. Do not distort the silence that, in the form of emptiness, we feel when the other party. Besides, it’s important to the company, the “here I am when I need it,” being next to the funeral and funeral. When everyone is gone, the hardest part begins: reconstruction.
Everyone’s suffering is personal, it’s their way and it’s their tears. Words that don’t help often take us away from people. On these occasions there is little communication; Often, a gesture of affection or a welcome silence is the greatest comfort we can give.
Words that don’t help create distances and can even cause more suffering.
? “Let them go, Lucia?” Grandma said
-WHO?
-Tears! Sometimes it seems like there are so many that we feel like we can drown in them, but it isn’t.
-Do you think they will one day stop falling?
-Of course!? Did Grandma answer with a sweet smile? Tears don’t take long, they do their job and they go on their way.
-And what work do they do?
“It’s water, Lucia! They’re clean, clear as rain. Does everything look different after the rain?”
? “The rain knows why
? Maria Fernanda Heredia?
Tears set us free, sinking, cleaning us up inside. Allowing the other to cry is also a personal job, such as allowing sadness or silence, and patience for the one who has to leave to leave.
So, if we don’t have the power to comfort ourselves with speech, we can listen. Whatever the magnitude of the loss, there will come a time when the other, even for a moment, will look around and feel great to see us on your side.