Trying to be the best or being particularly superior in some way is an undisputed sign of insecurity. While no one needs to prove anything to anyone, there are those who think like this and act accordingly.
What drives us to try to prove something and justify ourselves to others is insecurity, especially when there is a big gap between how we look and how we want to be seen, basically what exists is a deep desire for others to value each other. So instead of feeling like we don’t need to prove anything to anyone, we feel overwhelmed by the opposite feeling.
- When that happens.
- We constantly compare ourselves to others and have to show that we are better than them in a certain way.
- What we get in the end is an empty and distorted satisfaction.
“People with high self-esteem don’t feel superior to others; don’t try to prove yourself by comparing yourself to others” – Nathaniel Branden-
The key to all this is self-love, many believe that self-love is the same as pride, narcissism or pride, but it’s actually the other way around. The more self-esteem there is, the less necessary it is to brag about being the best and despise others.
To have self-love is to feel worthy of appreciation and respect in all circumstances, this means that the sense of value depends not on something external or personal achievement, but on ourselves.
Self-love is essential and not cyclic. So when there is that feeling of appreciation for who you are, you never need to show anything to anyone, there is no desire for competition, nor the desire to arouse feelings of admiration or fear in others, the person feels valued like him. is, simply because he is and exists.
Demonstrating something that we are not or that we are only partially implies a great expense of emotional energies, the constant in these cases is internal tension. Therefore, for stress, there is only one step, it is agonizing to have to build and maintain some kind of mask and then depend on the impact it causes on others to be validated.
The purpose of this type of behavior is to demonstrate something, to show that we are a certain type of person (sociable, intelligent, etc. ). We may also try to show that we have certain feelings or thoughts (compassion, patriotism, love, etc. ).
Of course, there are also cases where someone tries to prove that it is not something or does not feel something, for example, when we want to show that we are not afraid and that we are acting recklessly, or when we want to show that we are not ignorant and try to make it look like others.
All this is a consequence of not accepting you, some personal aspects are rejected for neurotic reasons, does this mean that the reasons for this rejection are not related to sound reasoning, but to an illusory desire to be like others?family, etc. So, even if you never need to prove anything to anyone, in these cases reverse logic operates.
What is at the bottom of a person who is responsible for proving that it is something, who feels something or who can do something is an illusion, unconsciously supports the illusory idea that by proving it he will eventually receive the approval of In turn, this approval will help you achieve the sense of personal value that you lack so much.
In practice, the opposite is true. Lack of authenticity becomes an obstacle both to learn to accept and to be accepted, after all, masks always end up being discovered or disappeared.
Now no one needs to prove anything to anyone, if this desire exists is because there is something inside that is cracked, broken or hurt, the greatest test of self-confidence and strength is to be oneself, the need for disproportionate approval leads only to a vicious circle in which we feel less and less free and rewarding.