Love is the most complex, exciting, satisfying and sometimes tragic dimension that exists.
We can all fall in love, from emotionally mature people to people full of fear and insecurity, to those who suffer from some psychological problem.
- This is perhaps the biggest difficulty: integrating this whole mix of personalities.
- Healthy and problematic.
- Into a relationship that sometimes becomes not only impossible.
- But also toxic to our physical and emotional health.
Sometimes, not even knowing how, we fall in love with people who, far from making us happy, let us fall into an abyss full of ups and downs, where there is never stability, where emotional blackmail, resentment, mistrust and even physical or emotional violence (both equally destructive).
Walter Riso, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationships, created a series of categories that would eventually define the different types of toxic love, let’s look one by one.
In this first dimension, we would have people who seek, at all times, to be the point of attention of their partner, there can be truly obsessive cases of absolute dependence, where the approval and recognition of the other is always sought. obtained, one falls into depressive and even vengeful states.
Here we would have the classic relationship where a member of the relationship has obsessive behavior, thinking that he will be betrayed, any small appearance can be interpreted as a clear suspicion that you are belittled, rejected or, worse, that you are not loved. The level of suffering created around the relationship is not only very painful, but also destructive for both.
It is a complex and toxic type of relationship. One of the two sees his partner as an authority figure, establishing a behavior of submission or even avoidance, he thinks that his life is controlled by the other person, who does not let him do certain things, when in fact he should not. Be like that. They are immature people who plunge their partners into states of continuous affection and contempt.
It is easy to recognize and is definitely one of the most found by us. There are people who see and run only according to their own needs and feelings. In the face of any problem, they appreciate only their own point of view and underestimate it, voluntarily. or not, the spouse.
Characteristic of an obsessive-compulsive personality. There is no place for freedom or spontaneity; any aspect is controlled in the minimum of millimetres, under the idea that “it is the best”, that “in this way the relationship will work better”. The opinion of one of the members of the relationship is marginal and is generally not heard by the “perfectionist” member.
Are there people who understand that word?Love? It is synonymous with control and domination, both physical and psychological, they are people who exercise aggressive control, that is where contempt, domination and submission usually appear, that is, without a doubt, the most dangerous toxic relationship.
It defines, in particular, those who are emotionally unstable. They are relationships with huge ups and downs, because one of the members shows, equally, a love and enormous contempt, there are moments of absolute passion, but within a few days comes indifference, such a state may end. destroying the other person.
It is characteristic of people with alexitimia, that is, people who are unable to recognize and express their emotions, both own and others. They are people who are unable to say a “I love you. “They may show closeness or desire, but they rarely show sincere affection that makes the other truly happy.