Many mothers are subjected to brutal pressure: they have many tasks, responsibilities and they have to pay as much as possible, among these responsibilities is the one that defines them as mothers: that of raising their children; On the other hand, in their role as mothers, many times they have to be bad, either because they are the ones who set the rules, or those who deny their whims many of their whims, in this sense the mother who does this is not bad, but a real mother, because she takes responsibility.
We know that positive reinforcement works better than punishment, that some praise can affect children’s self-esteem, and that a traumatic event can open a wound that is difficult to heal, so being a mother is not easy and, despite the amount of information we have, in some contradictory respects, mistakes are possible. Moreover, it is not that they are possible, but that they happen, as in any other project.
Mothers make mistakes because being perfect is impossible
For all the aforementioned, a phenomenon has emerged that tries to remind us what a real mother is, who is wrong and that does not mean being a bad mother, a phenomenon that has been improved particularly thanks to social networks, where criticism is very cheap and nobody asks for training to do it.
For example, we can remember the case of Chontel Duncan, a personal trainer who sparked a great controversy on her Instagram account when posting photos while exercising while she was pregnant, many people thought that having a toned belly and a terrifying abdomen could endanger the baby’s health. Life.
Similarly, a singer received numerous reviews for going out to dinner with her partner seven days after giving birth and leaving another person responsible for the baby. After posting the photo of this already famous dinner, the critics on social media did not expect: “As a mother, I certainly couldn’t think of going anywhere without my baby?”Yes? If you want to keep doing whatever you want with your life, don’t you have kids?
This type of criticism reflects the need of some mothers to be perfect or to impose their idea of perfection on others, condemning practices that, in their view, are criticized; In addition, these criticisms also allow us to reflect on the role model that promotes society. . We all have certain beliefs about what it means to be a mother or what it should mean, but doesn’t conforming to those of most or those in a group make you a bad mother?
All of this helps to embarrass, humiliate and insure a woman in her role as a mother, they think that most people want their child to be well and want to do things their best and, with that intention, it is normal for many doubts to arise.
In this context, the criticisms we refer to are from the “A bucket of cold water”, which force them to follow very strict rules, because there is no perfect mother, only the real mother, as long as she chooses to be and strives to be.
“There is no perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good mother. -Jill Churchill-
The above situations are just one example of how certain acts describe a mother as “bad. “However, there are certain beliefs that, precisely because they are widespread, confuse and censor mothers who do not follow or support them. Let’s look at some of them:
After all these claims with which one can feel more or less identified, what can be inferred from this is that a real mother is, in herself, a bad mother, because a real mother cannot be perfect or ideal, because a real mother makes mistakes, makes mistakes and sometimes loses her temper.
Mothers are not beings that come from another planet, although in many cases this seems to be the case. They are normal and ordinary people who lead a normal and ordinary life. They have to work to live, they need time to rest, like other people. Society’s high expectations of mothers put pressure on them that is sometimes difficult to bear.
If you feel identified, if you’ve ever heard criticism for being a real mother, don’t worry, you’re human, many people who criticize you also lose patience or don’t have time for your children, it’s just that you act like a mirror, so they express their frustration at not being able to fully fulfill this perfect mother role, because, like you , can only play one role: that of real mothers.
It doesn’t matter if sometimes you’re wrong about raising your children, the important thing is to know how to follow them after acknowledging that you made a mistake. -Doris Ruiz Galindo-