You’re my favorite mistake. You are what I want and at the same time you are the cause of my sleepless nights, you are the worst and at the same time the best that has happened to me, you are my addiction, an addiction that has so hurt me that has changed me directly. You’re life and death at the same time, and the worst part is I can’t live without you.
Before I met you I had heard of you, of your horrors, but I never came to believe that they were true, for me they were just rumors and when someone only talks about what should be forbidden, it catches my eye, because they do not always tell us the truth, and in this case, I have decided that before paying attention to others, I should know you.
- I put a lot of pressure on my friends that night to introduce me to what was going to be the biggest mistake of my life.
- I didn’t know.
- But their attraction was so magnetic that with just a first impression I came across their nets.
- No expiration date.
You were the flame that guides the torch of freedom. You were the only way to feel free and different, at least that’s what I thought. Now I realize how stupid I was to idealize you so much without even knowing you: just because of the attraction I felt for the forbidden world.
Now, I can’t live without you, but at that moment, meeting you and playing with you seemed exciting, I didn’t see the danger of a little contact with something that would be forbidden, for me the forbidden word is a sign to prove and decide that they know each other better than others and that they are stronger than them.
I remember that night as something very special, when I showed it to you I noticed how the heat rose through my veins and changed my whole world, you have entered my gut in such a clear and absorbing way that I cannot think of anything other than you.
I can’t live without you, without the way you take my hand to touch the sky, without the way you scare me away from this world of lucid beings that fools don’t understand. I can’t live without you, although I know that every time I touch you, you slowly kill me.
I can’t live without you and the mistake of knowing you still weighs on me, this relationship of love, hate and admiration that I have for you ends me: the good times are getting shorter and the bad ones more and more.
I trust you more and more, in a dose of yours that makes this suffering repel, even if you are the one who makes me suffer, so I write from here, from this place full of cactus spines and porcupines, that only shrapnel For the struggle between what my heart wants and what dictates my reason. A fight where I’m the only loser.
Here I can tell the world that you, CHER HÉRON, are the mistake that will kill me.
You’re the heroine, that drug, that mistake that’s going to kill me. It’s going to kill me because the addiction that joins you is so strong I can’t leave you. The chills, nausea and tremors that occur when I try to get away from you don’t let me spend much time without you.
When I spend a lot of time without you, I’m even caught by hallucinations, they’re terrifying visions that make my world an inhospit, dark place, full of monsters that want to hurt me, when I know that clearly the only monster in my life is the monster that destroys me, the mistake I regret most is you, for God’s sake.
You’re the one who masters my thoughts and actions, you’re definitely my favorite mistake, who now dominates my life, you’re the one who made my arms fill with holes and veins in pieces.
It is you, dear heroine, who makes me vomit and do my needs without being able to avoid it, because I am dominated by the desire to have you, I know that for you I cannot keep a job, because I only think of a dose of you and, therefore, I cannot maintain a schedule.
Worse, I know I ruined my life for fun. I know I chose to make the mistake of trying heroin and now drugs are to blame, as I was free to choose where I was and demanded to use it.
But I also know that if you read these lines you can always avoid introducing the drug into your life, it’s too late for me, now I have AIDS because I can’t wait to have a clean needle. The body was asking for a dose and I was tired of feeling sick waiting for it.
Don’t be like me, don’t make the same mistake, because even if you think you’re strong, drugs will possess you, don’t fall, get ready, it’s not worth it, the little pleasure you get is worth nothing compared to an eternal condemnation of suffering. Don’t think you won’t be like me; I used to think the same thing about others, and now I’m almost dead.