For some reason, many of us have become our own judges, our fiercest critics. We judge and condemn every small mistake, every misstep and every goal not achieved. We’re trying to carry the weight of this failure for years. If you were aware of the damage this attitude does to your self-esteem, you would abandon this habit, you are more than your mistakes, so stop identifying with them.
We have a bad habit of tagging ourselves, defining ourselves, assigning adjectives through which we build a concept of ourselves, when you stop to think, you discover that throughout the day you have talked about yourself at different times, but not always in a positive way. When I say “Speak,” I also mean internal dialogue.
- Labels are never appropriate because they limit us; However.
- This is even more evident when we get used to defining ourselves based on our negative qualities and experiences.
- “I’ve always been a bad student.
- ” “I’m unlucky at love.
- ” “Since I’m a kid I’m shy and ashamed.
- “How is it possible to feel good about yourself when we define ourselves in this way?.
We create expectations in different areas of our lives and we are likely to identify with the laurels obtained in each of them, so when these self-imposed goals are not met, our identity is seriously compromised, we feel incapable and insufficient and forget that our essence, our intrinsic value, has nothing to do with our performance in specific situations.
You’re more than colleagues who didn’t welcome you to school, it’s more than a romantic relationship that didn’t work. This is more than the position you weren’t selected for or were fired for. You’re more than friendships lost along the way and you’re more than fears you still can’t overcome.
You’re not what others think of you, or the arguments you’ve lost control of. These aren’t the times you tried and failed, let alone the times you chose not to risk. You’re more than this suspension, more than the lack of elegance you’ve committed or the damage you’ve been allowed to do. Your past does not define you; it was an apprenticeship, not a life sentence. You’re more than your mistakes.
When we form our identity and measure our value based on our external successes, we renounce the power we have over ourselves, perhaps for you the family is paramount and you consider yourself a mother or wife, yet what if your marriage ended?Someday? Perhaps for someone else, the professional field is the most relevant and is therefore defined by the position. But what if that person is fired one day?
It’s very dangerous to lay our foundations on something out of our control, on something out of our control. In fact, if you base your identity solely on your profession or family, at some point you can become “the divorced and unemployed person. “In this case, the sense of failure will be immense. So it’s going to be very difficult to move on.
The healthiest thing to remember is that its value is intrinsic, unconditional and depends on nothing. When success happens, you’ll understand that it’s more than your mistakes and you’ll start to see them for granted. When they love each other, they are accepted and valued. unconditionally, each pitfall is recoverable because it does not affect his perception of himself.
It’s always you, your precious one, even if you’re wrong, afraid or fall, mistakes are no longer extremely important to become lessons that help you get better. Failed? It becomes a springboard to success because it makes you wiser and more experienced than before.
Resilient people, by definition, are more successful and happy because they are able to get transformed from adversity, we can only achieve this when we understand that change is part of the way, that there is nothing more human than making mistakes or your successes do not define you!Remember, you have unconditional value.